


Virginity

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [46]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Birthday Sex, Blow Jobs, Crack, Drabble, Humor, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Manipulation, Not So Failwolf, Peter is a creeper, Threesome - F/F/F, Threesome - F/F/M, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 16:35:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rumors abound of a terrifying monster that is eating the citizens of Beacon Hills.  And not just any citizens.  This monster has a taste for virgin flesh.  Naturally, the pack is worried about their most virginal member…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Virginity

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Virginity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/939132) by [chatain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chatain/pseuds/chatain)



> This is inspired by, but not consistent with, events of 3x03. So, spoiler warning for 3x03 I guess.

**Lydia:**  So. I hear everyone in town needs to get devirginized. ‘Cause there’s a monster that’s eating virgins?

**Stiles:**  Yup. I heard that somewhere, too.

**Lydia:**  I guess I could throw you a bone.

**Stiles:**  Sure! I mean, anything for the good of humanity and all that.

**Lydia:**  That, and I’m not sure that what I was doing to Jackson would count as sex with the more traditional, close-minded monsters.

**Stiles:**  I’m not sure I needed to know that. But thanks.

*later*

**Scott:**  Stiles! Someone evil is eating virgins!

**Stiles:**  Yup. So they say.

**Scott:**  So. I was wondering. ‘Cause I’m your friend and all. Maybe, we could have…?

**Stiles:**  You’re a virgin? ‘Cause the way you talked about Allison…

**Scott:**  Oh! No, I’m not a virgin. But you are, right? And me and Allison were thinking of having a threesome anyway, so…

**Stiles:**  Um. Yeah. Sure. Threesomes are good. Two guys, one girl should be interesting.

*still later*

**Danny:**  I think you’re fairly attractive to gay guys.

**Stiles:**  Thanks?

**Danny:**  My boyfriend says you need to get laid? For the good of humanity? We can help, if you want.

**Stiles:**  Thanks! *under his breath* And now I’m getting closer to fulfilling all the classic threesome permutations…

*even later*

**Isaac:**  So, Boyd and I can help you with that virginity thing if you want…

**Stiles:**  Okay!

**Isaac:**  I hope you don’t mind that we touched this amulet that turned us both into girls.

**Stiles:**  As long as we can have sex once this way, and once after I touch the amulet.

**Isaac:**  Sure?

**Stiles:**  All the threesomes! Yes!!

**Isaac:**  …?

**Stiles:**  Never mind. Thank you so much for taking pity on my poor virginal state.

*after a quick nap*

**Peter:**  So, Stiles. I heard—

**Stiles:**  No. I would rather have sex with Chris Argent than—

**Chris:**  Really?

**Stiles:**  Oh. Hmm, why the hell not? Wouldn’t want to die a virgin.

**Peter:**  But…

**Stiles:**  …Unless it meant I had to have sex with Peter. C’mon, Argent, let’s get this DILF action on.

*and finally*

**Stiles:**  Have I told you lately how much I love you?

**Derek:**  Mhmm.

**Stiles:**  No. Seriously. Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.

**Derek:**  Mhmm.

**Stiles:**  I can’t believe they all fell for that thing about a virgin-eating monster. I mean, that shit only happens in romance novels and fan fiction.

**Derek:**  Hmm.

**Stiles:**  And I had every possible combination of threesome! Including three girls! It was awesome.

**Derek:**  Mmmmm…

**Stiles:**  Of course, most of them were pretty vanilla for me. But I gave them as many pointers as I could get away with. I mean, Lydia was freaking terrible at giving head. I taught her that thing you do with your….

**Derek:**  Mmmmm

**Stiles:**  Yup. That. God. You are so good at that.

*After a couple of orgasms. Each. This _is_ Sterek we’re talking about.*

**Stiles:**  So, now that I’m 18 and my dad won’t neuter anyone, can we finally tell people that we’re together? ‘Cause as much as I loved taking advantage of the fact that they all think I’m a virgin, you are way better in bed.  Plus, I’d like to be able to snuggle in public.

**Derek:**  …grrr…

**Stiles:**  Or not! Or not snuggle! You can look all broody, and I’ll just let everyone know that all that eyebrow belongs to me, ‘kay?

**Derek:**  …Okay.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope.


End file.
